Hey guys, guess what?

WINDOWS VISTA SUCKS BALLS.

That is all.

HEY.

Sorry I haven't updated in a million years. I have, like, no internet access. Except at school. And school doesn't like it when I go on LJ. (My excuse for right now is that I'm on lunch.)

Anyway, my phone number is 416 849 7598 ext. 204. So, yeah. Give me a ring if you really miss me that much. (Or don't. Whatev.)

Totally loving life downtown. This shit is fun. Hold out a bit longer; I'll be getting internet at my place as soon as my computer's all fixed up. I'm not dead yet.

See ya!

( Class survival survey (poverty, middle class, upper class), stolen from about ten million people. )

A DAY AND A HALF UNTIL I MOVE OMG!

So I had a few Christmas adventures. I went to a Catholic church because I'd never been to one before (it was great, until they started with the "this is what God thinks about what's happening in the world right now" and "Canadian Tire is insulting Catholicism by not offering ten-foot tall nativity scenes for sale and printing 'Happy Holidays!' on their signs"), ate a chocolate penis, drank quite a bit of Bailey's, and relaxed for four days in an upper-middle-class home north of Brampton that totally felt like a mountain retreat or some shit because I'm so used to being ridiculously poor. I was, of course, with Kat's family, which is always nice. However, it sort of sucked actually being treated like a teenager -- I haven't been treated that way since my mother died. I was sixteen then, and I'm almost eighteen now, and I think I know when I'm too tired to play The Sims 2 anymore, thank-you-very-much.

But whatever. I was pretty content to abide by the rules of the parental units, simply because the atmosphere was so nice. Being told to go to bed really isn't so bad when your bed is a giant, reclining leather sofa that's so nice you have to take your piercings out to lie down in it.

I'm moving to Toronto in less than a week. LESS THAN A WEEK, GUYS. I was excited about leaving here anyway, but now I'm doubly happy about it, because the drama in this neighbourhood is becoming unbearable. People are spreading rumours and asking me about things that are absolutely none of their business. It's really pissing me off. Whatever. I'll be gone before I have to start booting crotches.

Oh, and one more thing about the Catholic church experience: I fantasized about sex during the hymns (the sex was, of course, gay -- very gay). I honestly couldn't help it. I'm sure a lot of people daydream during church; it's just that because I'm not Catholic myself, the stuff I daydream about isn't very Catholic either. All in all, church was nice, but I don't think I'll be going back any time soon. I can achieve the same calming affect through several different means. Not that the whole thing wasn't a neat-o experience.

Yeah, I guess that's about it. I might not be on-line much for the next little while; it's going to take a bit to get things hooked up at my new place, and the wireless around here is being especially bitchy right now. So, yeah -- don't de-friend me. Or, do. I don't really mind either way. But I'd rather not return to LJ and discover that I've become a total loner.

So, yeah. See ya.

Current Mood: blah

COKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKECOKE

Yeah, that's about all I have to say.

I'm gonna be up allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll night.

;););)

Goddammit. I'm a goddamn motherfucking whore. See, I never thought I'd really get to be a whore, because I was under the impression that one had to be exceedingly attractive and/or rich in order to have lots of sex with lots of people. I am neither. I was also completely and utterly wrong in my assumptions.

I'm not sure I like the direction in which this is heading. Then again, I never thought I'd be comfortable enough with having a female body to even fuck with the lights on. Now I just don't care, and it feels really cool. Maybe this is better for me than I think it is. I mean, it's not like I'm not using a rubber, y'know? (Even though those really hot HIV-doesn't-exist gay porn stories really do just make me want to throw out my whole stash of the damn things.)

On another note, I'll be eighteen soon. Like, really soon. I'm not sure whether I started with the debauchery really early or really late. I mean, I guess I really only started after I began living on my own. Maybe teenagers really do crave boundaries. Not that I'm miserable or anything, y'know? Because I'm not. I'm really not.

But I'm sick of talking about this. It's making me feel like the only dumbass in the room stupid enough to broadcast these thoughts. I'm also thinking that not everyone will believe what I'm saying here because those of you who really know me know that if I'm really doing all this shit I'm basically living out every fantasy I've ever had. But I seriously am. And no, it's not as glamorous as I thought it would be. None of it is. But I'm still glad I'm doing it.

I'm just kind of starting to wonder if I'll still be glad when I finally emerge into the adult world (inevitably, I'll be a number of years too late and in pretty poor condition) -- if I emerge into the adult world at all. If I don't, maybe I'll be happy right up until I die. I'll be a kid 'till I'm fifty (or however long I last), but whatever.

I'm going to go look for offensive jokes on google.

Current Mood: awake

So I'm trying to get into this school that's ONLY for fags and queers.

I'm really really really super excited.

Current Mood: awake

I'm a little stoned right now; just coming down. I'm horrifically sick, and I have a full psychiatric evaluation tomorrow. I should be sleeping. I smoked too much today; my throat is killing me.

It's freezing outside; the roads are icy, the ground is snowy, and all the buses are constantly late.

Uhg. This is totally miserable.

Well. At least Christmas is coming.

I really can't wait to buy gifts.

Current Mood: bored

So I've been drinking all day. So have Matt and Josh and Peter and Nikki and that other Matt.

I fell asleep at six and woke up ten minutes ago and I'm still drunk.

It's been a year since my step-dad died, as of today.

Fuck my life.

Current Mood: drunk

So I tried Klonopin tonight. A girl in my building has a prescription; she's stopped taking it, so she's pretty much giving the stuff away. I had never tried benzos before (although I hear they're excellent for suicide-by-suffocation), so I figured, okay, why not?

I'm actually not sure how much is in each individual tablet, but I've swallowed five of them (yeah, I'm stupid, but from what I know, ODing on this stuff won't kill you, anyway). It's been, maybe, a half hour. They're nothing to shit your pants over, but they give you a nice feeling. It's reminiscent of the one I got when I was prescribed codeine for my tooth extractions. This is nicer, though. I feel pretty good. Like being drunk without the nauseousness or complete and utter stupidity.

I have four more at my disposal, but I believe I'll save them for a rainy day.

I think I'll sleep well tonight.

Current Mood: good